Gov. Strickland of wherever:
Now, what if, by outsourcing the toy-making, all the good children would get better, longer-lasting presents, and the bad children would get sacks of low-sulfur coal, and the elves were redeployed to increase production of Keebler cookies?
And, really, are reindeer the most efficient and “green” way to deliver all those presents? Imagine how much corn they have to eat to be able to fly all over the world in 24 hours. Then imagine the reindeer-do footprint they leave behind. Unsanitary!
Wouldn’t it be much better if Santa had a global network of 3D printers, and sent the blueprints for the various presents straight to delivery hubs, where UPS would rush the presents to each and every house?