Felony Filming, with Special Circumstances

I don’t want to be called to account by my descendant
For having neglected the First Amendment.
There is no room in the American Dream
For a place to punish those who blaspheme.
If anything, we take great pride
In being able to deride,
Mock, scorn, spoof and satirize
Even words considered wise
By those who then would look askance
As we proceed to drop our pants,
Mooning sanctimonious faces,
Loosing needlessly strait laces.
Let’s be crude and rude and unattractive
So long as we don’t stand inactive,
Allowing our rights to atrophy,
Leaving posterity a little less free.

The Midnight Raid on Sam Bacile

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UPDATE: Let’s you think I am exaggerating, watch this video:

Does Romney hate elves?

Gov. Strickland of wherever:

Now, what if, by outsourcing the toy-making, all the good children would get better, longer-lasting presents, and the bad children would get sacks of low-sulfur coal, and the elves were redeployed to increase production of Keebler cookies?

And, really, are reindeer the most efficient and “green” way to deliver all those presents? Imagine how much corn they have to eat to be able to fly all over the world in 24 hours. Then imagine the reindeer-do footprint they leave behind. Unsanitary!

Wouldn’t it be much better if Santa had a global network of 3D printers, and sent the blueprints for the various presents straight to delivery hubs, where UPS would rush the presents to each and every house?